Excuses are Easy, Resolve is Rewarding

Today started off a bit on the unexpected side. Well, not totally unexpected, but not what I was hoping for. After waking up, getting dressed in my gym wear, downing my pre-workout NO Xplode shake (which, for the record, works well but tastes nasty in lemonade flavor), and being pumped to keep rolling with my "better habits" motivation....found a sick, super congested, coughing baby girl in her crib when I went to get her up. *sigh* My poor girl!! She has been battling off and on congestion for a few weeks. Without fail, 2 days a week she is snotty and fussy. We do the humidifier, saline spray, sucking the junk out, juice/fluids bit and then she is fine and back to normal. Only for it to return a week later. Well. Hmmmm? What to do? I can tell you what I did would have done in the past few weeks - use it as an excuse to not be able to get in my workout and laze around and boredom snack all day. Easy, peasy, right???


NO!!!! Well, yes. It would be easy. No, I would not have been happy and would have felt disappointed in myself for taking the easy way out. Now, now, now. Don't fret. I did not pack up my sick baby and head to the gym anyways to pass germs to other innocent children. I snuggled and played with my happy, albeit sick, sweetheart. Then, when she went down for her nap, I headed down to the basement and did some cardio. I pulled out an old Cathe DVD I haven't done in quite some time - IMAX 2. This workout totally and completely kicked my butt....and sent my heart racing. It's 10 step intervals with lots of plyometric drills. It was fun, effective, and passed by super fast. See a clip and description of the workout HERE.

After that, Makenzie & I had lunch and put on some music to dance around the living room. That girl loves to shake her booty. She quite likes the Black Eyed Peas song "Boom Boom Boom" (not sure if that's the right name). During her afternoon nap, I did a bit more reading, chatted online with a good friend, and did my daily devotional Bible reading. You would think the day would die down there, huh?

NOPE! Once hubs got home, I was off to the gym. That's right. My workout plan was to do legs and some cardio today. I am a determined lady right now and had to get my leg session in dagnabit. Can I just say how happy I am that I did? WOW! I killed, I mean killed, my legs. I got my squat weight back up. I was shaking at the end. And all with a much shorter and effective workout. After that, it was home to gobble up some dinner (steamed chicken spring rolls, sugar snap peas) and type this up while chilling on the couch. Another rewarding day, thanks to my resolve. Here's to day 3!

RECAP - DAY 3
Training = Legs
*warm up first*
1) BB Squat - 95# x15, 115# x10, 125# x8 x2sets, 135# (!!!!) x7, 135# x5
2) Bulgarian Split Squat - 20's x 12 x 2sets, 25's x 10, 30's x 8
3A) Walking Lunge w/ Pulses @ Bottom - 20's x 10/leg x 3sets
3B) Leg Extension - 85# x 10 x 3sets

Cardio = Cathe IMAX 2 DVD

Diet = Healthy, balanced, and delicious
Water = 4 Liters + a cup of decaf peppermint tea I'm about to enjoy

Time with God = Prayer time and Bible time. I can definitely tell a difference in my approach to situations, happiness, life in general with more focused time spent with God. I would like to extend this part of my challenge to others as well. Even just 15 minutes of time spent with God is amazing and refreshing. And if that's not in your beliefs, then meditation or something similar could work for you :) Do you take time for daily prayer or meditation? Does it make a difference for YOU?

Hoppin' on the Bandwagon

The holiday self-challenge bandwagon, that is. As I mentioned yesterday, I want to get back into my better habits since I have allowed many things to throw me a bit off track the past few weeks. I don't have very specific, measurable goals. Simply to make each day count. I consider my body to be my temple given to me by God and I know I need to honor my body. Heck, how can I not, when considering what all has been given to me so graciously by Him? So each day I want to eat well and be active. The holidays are a notorious time for over-indulgence and I will not deny that many, many times I have succumbed. I don't want to do that this year. Yes, I plan to enjoy, but I have to keep things in check. This is my Day 2 of my "Better Habits" self-challenge. And this is a challenge that will not end. It is not for X amount of weeks or until I reach X weight or something arbitrary like that. It is a continued desire to living a healthy and balanced lifestyle. 

Anyone care to hop on with me?? :)

Today was an atypical Sunday. Normally, a large part of our Sundays involves church. I lead group discussion for a Sunday school group called The Goodlife at 9:30 and we go to the sermon at 11:00. We didn't make it to church at all today because Makenzie was pretty under the weather this morning (this girl has a stuffy head that just won't quit!). Since we weren't having class due to the holiday, we decided it would be best to hang back and let the baby girl rest.

So, what was today like? Did I care for myself and fulfill my better habits? YEP! I started the day with a cardio session in our basement. Cathe's LowMax DVD fit the bill for that. It was a great way to start the day and a fabulous cardio session. Better habit #1...check! Normally, Sundays are also a day of rest for me, but since I took Wed-Fri off of workouts with the holidays I knew I could handle fitting something in today. Then, I ate a delicious breakfast of Kashi blueberry waffles with some sugar free syrup, strawberries, and a egg white omelet with peppers/onions/veggie sausage/lf cheese. Along with my breakfast, I spent some quality time with my all time favorite book - The Bible. It is amazing how no matter how many times you read through it, there is always something special to get out of it every single time. Better habit #2...check!!

The remainder of the day was low key. I spent a fair amount of time snuggling my sweetie pie - minus the trip to chasing her from the stairs, which she has figured out how to climb now. I also tutored the neighborhood kid and read some of my current book (An Isolated Incident by Susan Sloan - so good and one of my favorites that I am re-reading). Now, it is about time to cook up some dinner. I will be making some sauteed zucchini, squash, and onions to toss with some Italian turkey sausage, light tomato sauce, and a small serving of whole wheat pasta. So Better Habit #3 will be a check! Balanced, healthy meals have most certainly filled my belly today.

Check, check, check!! I like those days. Now, if only those checks could be deposited at the bank. ;)

Disappearing Act

Okay, okay. I know I disappeared for awhile there. Oops! I am going to get back into the swing of blogging because I like the mental outlet. I want to share my thoughts with friends & family without it having to be in a solely fitness realm. I am planning to focus more on using this as a place to discuss my life in general and not so much focus on the fitness aspect of it all. AKA live up to the title of getting more out of LIFE and not just a competition life. Obviously, since that part of my life I have fully decided no longer exists and will not exist again in the future. 

So, let's get started with that. I hope everyone here in the US had a fabulous Thanksgiving. Ours was nice. We had my parents, sister, and uncle over at our house for a Thanksgiving lunch. Then, we went to hubby's parents house for dinner and dessert. I was quite the stuffed one after that. I believe Makenzie has decided that Thanksgiving is her favorite holiday. She sampled all the delicious foods and definitely enjoyed her share. It was so funny - when we pulled up her shirt to look at and blow on her full little belly, she started patting it like a satisfied grandpa. LOL Although the diapers that followed on Friday morning were not quite that cute. Ewwww.....

In other news - my sister and I went to see New Moon yesterday. I loved it! I think it was done much better than Twilight and I really like how the movie follows the book well, besides a few very minor discrepancies. I am very excited for the 3rd and 4th in the series, as those books are by far my favorites. And, for the record, I am team Edward all the way. That devotion and intensity just can't be beat. Although, Jacob wins in the hot body department. Call me a teenage schoolgirl - I don't care! I love the books and the movies.

Today, I woke up and finally got a workout in. I haven't worked out since Tuesday. I've just been too busy with the holiday. Perhaps lazy too. I did a 1 hour kickbox DVD here at home. It felt wonderful to get moving again. I really, really need to get back into the habit of working out more regularly. Since the competition, I have worked out I think 6 times total. That is due to battling illness, Makenzie battling illness, going back too hard at first and being too sore to move for almost a week, and then busy with the holiday. I know that since this is the holiday season, I cannot allow myself to get out of the habits of taking care of myself. That is all too easy for me. I want to be healthy and happy. I want to honor the body and health I have been blessed with. I honored it with rest, but now I have to honor it with a healthy dose of regular activity. My body is my temple and I will take care of it here on out. Now, with that being said. I will close this post and go do my daily devotional reading - another thing I have to get back into better habits with. Geez, I have quite a bit of room for improvement these days, huh?

Show Recap

I want to start off by saying I feel super accomplished for having made it to the stage and finishing what I set out to do. Yesterday was a lot of fun, as well as exhausting. The girls were all sooooo nice and funny and it was an all around good time backstage. Everyone is so supportive of each other and it's great. I felt happy with how I looked and the progress I made and for being up there, even if I was super nervous the 1st round and literally shaking in my heels. I'm perfectly happy with the results. Now onto that...I got 4th place.....out of 4 girls.....


I'm not gonna lie. When my name was the first called out I was bummed and had a moment of griping when first getting to Peter and my family offstage. But I quickly recovered and remembered how strong and wonderful I felt earlier in the day and not because I thought I was going to win (I didn't) or anything like that. But because I felt like I did a good job, I was having fun, and I had made it. So I've decided to take that - the good - away from the show and be happy for it all and move on to the next part of my life. So onto a normal, balanced way of living again. Basically, on with LIFE.

Okay, moving on - treats!! I actually haven't even been in the mood for much of anything! Last night, I had one icing cookie, a handful of candy corn, and a few pieces of Halloween candy and was done. We went to dinner at Steak and Shake with my family bec they were all starving from the FOREVER long show...I got a burger and choked it down and didn't really eat any fries and no shake either.

Today - all I've had is a couple of cookies and a few more pieces of candy (nothing much at all) and had a Subway 6 inch. NO IHOP like planned. NO COLDSTONE like I wanted. Heck, I'm not even super thrilled for going to The Cheesecake Factory (my favorite favorite favorite restaurant) tonight. I'm excited to hang out with my friends but I'm not excited about the food at all. So strange. I'm seriously ready to get back in the gym lightly and just to normal tomorrow. I will probably still take tomorrow easy and off though to rest because I know I need it.

Now for some pictures....

Show Opening Shot

Suit Picture

Sportswear Picture

My Class

Placings from Left to Right = 4th/2nd/1st/3rd

One Day Out

Real quickly - a picture after one coat of tanner this morning (hands/feet will get a coat with the final 1-2 coats and face will of course be makeup tomorrow so please excuse that look).

Today will be busy packing things up, going to the store, tanning more, polygraph appointment for drug testing of the federation, and other errands just to prepare for tomorrow. I'm feeling good!

And the Glamour Begins

Today was super packed, as will tomorrow be. But it will mostly be filled with final touches and the more glam part of competition prep. Today I finished my last workout (!!!!!!!!!), then spent most of the early afternoon getting things done around the house to straighten up. Towards the end of the afternoon, I went to get my french mani/pedi done and it was so delectable to sit back and relax. Came home, helped get poor sick Makenzie into bed (yes, that's right - I have a sick 1 year old the last days of prep!), and then ventured into the shower with hubs for a 1 hour shaving session. Let me tell you what - having to shave everywhere is a true eye opener that you aren't as smooth and feminine as you might think. LOL Now it's relaxation time watching Grey's Anatomy in a few and reading some more Twilight. :)

Tomorrow. Ummm, where do I begin? I'll be coating on the tanner throughout the day with Peter's help. Needless to say he's thrilled I'll be strolling the house naked for extended periods of time tomorrow. Also, I'll be packing up Makenzie's stuff for her weekend stay with grandma and also packing up as much as I can of my show day bag. I'll have to go get tested for the federation to prove I am drug free. We'll have to go to the store to stock up on last minute needs and some goodies. And I think that's it. Oh! And getting in a nice short family walk. Hopefully we'll have time for it all! Oh, yea....we will....since I'll suddenly have a couple extra hours to my day ;)

I'll try to post up some one day out pics tomorrow.

Last Legs of the Race :)

Another day down and almost done. 'Twas a good one and was literally the "last leg" - leg training day, that is. I was super happy to be done with that one. And even though it was a much lighter load than a normal leg workout, I was struggling. Let me be clear. I loathe separate leg days. But, for prep, I did what I had to do and did an upper/lower split to be able to really focus on my upper more and keeping muscle there. So, today when I finished I was thinking how I don't have to do a solely leg workout again. EVER!


Enough about that silliness though. I had a wonderful day today. My sister came over to keep me company all day. We went to the mall and strolled around. I bought 2 pairs of jeans from Express (buy one get one 50% yea!!) that are very nice and I foresee them having no problems fitting post show because there is some spare room...in flippin' size 0s! What in the world?! I blame vanity sizing, but that's another tangent for another time. We also had lunch in the food court. Well, more like plopped ourselves at a foodcourt table and pulled out our tupperware containers of salad to eat. After getting home and putting miss Makenzie down for her nap, we even did some Turbo Kick together for a fun cardio workout to keep my energy and motivation up :) Now, I'm about to dig into some tuna sashimi and watch last night's The Biggest Loser since I chose to watch So You Think You Can Dance live last night.


The next couple of days will be extremely busy with lots of prep stuff. I'll try to update about it all each day. 2 more days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sugar High????

I promise I'm not on a sugar high, but good gracious I sure do feel like it! LOL I'm not complaining in the least bit, but where....oh WHERE am I getting this energy? Especially considering I am super hungry and my body is thoroughly telling me that I haven't really, fully, truly fed it in about 3 months. Also considering I got maybe 3 hours of sleep last night - because of waking up from the said hunger and not falling back asleep thanks to hubby's beautiful musical nose. And considering my precious daughter has been going through a rotten not quite as precious stage - where she is starting to throw temper tantrums when I won't let her beat our dog over the head with books and then she's refusing to take full naps even though she is very obviously tired.

But somehow, some way I have energy to spare! I have been coasting through my last workouts since I decided to drop the cardio a smidge and lower the intensity of my weight workouts to save energy and strength for show day and the unending posing. And it will only get easier from here. The biggest battle has been the midafternoon munchy monsters that try to throw me off track (notice I said TRY so all is still well). Distracting myself from the hunger is the toughest thing. I've been playing with Makenzie bunches, going on low key neighborhood walks, re-reading Twilight (love that book btw!), chatting online, anything and everything. But now I will have company the next 3 days. My sister will be hanging out with me all day tomorrow and then Peter (hubs) will be working from home to be with me on Thursday and Friday.

Basically - all is well in this neighborhood!

And here's a pic of my abs I took this afternoon. I am one of those unfortunate ones that no matter how lean/flat my stomach gets I don't get the popping 6-pack look. Boo. But I know it isn't the be all, end all so I'm not concerned.

One Week Out Pics

Not sure how I feel about how I look relative to what other competitors will bring, which I guess is normal for most everyone at this stage of prep. But still proud of how far I've come and having a blast the final bit of prep since it's almost over!

GAH!!!!!!!!!

Scream of excitement!!!!!!!! One week from right now I will be probably on stage or close to being on stage for finals. Pre-judging will be done. The hard part will be over. Oh I am sooooo excited! This past week I have been feeling MUCH stronger and at peace with everything. I am only feeling joy as the day approaches. The nervous tummy twisting jitters have yet to hit...we'll see how long they stay away as I'm sure they will come out at some point. I have this overwhelming feeling inside that I can't even describe. It's so hard to grasp that it's almost here. A goal I have always dreamed of but never thought quite possible. I'm doing it and I'm *thisclose* to being able to say I DID it. And all not even 13 months after having a baby. I'm so psyched! And I even made it through Halloween (since I'm pooped and will be lame and heading to bead shortly) without a single thought or hesitation of having a piece of candy. Go me! Go me! Thank you Lord for the strength, willpower, energy, peace , contentment, etc the past week and I pray you continue to provide it to me in the remaining SIX days. Can you believe it? SIX! Okay...my neurotic bubbly self is signing off now. 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

10 Days Out - Pic of Sportswear

I had to take a picture of my sportswear to send to the promoters...so I decided to be nice and post it on the blog too. ;)

Click Goes the Lightbulb

Ya know? Like in the cartoons where the bulb clicks on over someone's head in that AHA! moment? Well, that is the feeling I had this morning while watching a Joyce Meyer message during my am cardio session. During her message, she said something along the lines of it is impossible for her to be happy in life while being a selfish person. Ding ding ding!! We have a winner! FINALLY - a way to sum up why this whole competition prep thing has me in some sort of identity crisis the past few weeks.

Competing is a very selfish sport. The time it takes to plan and prep meals, fit in all the workouts, practice posing, get things organized for the show is a lot. Then, there is the lack of energy leftover for the people in your life due to the extra effort that goes into all I just mentioned - only compounded by the lack of food and extra energy expenditure in workouts. I want to live love. I want my life to revolve around showing love and support to my family, friends, and others instead of all the effort that is going into reaching this goal. Now, that doesn't mean we shouldn't have goals or that we shouldn't take time for ourselves. Those are things that are important to everyone and need to be a part of each individual's life.

However, sometimes certain goals become apparent that they are not best suited to living a truly fulfilling life, the most fulfilling of which is one that God would want for you. I firmly believe that God put it on my heart to work towards this show so that I could learn and grow in the process. So that I could grow to trust Him to get me through something I want to give up on at times. So that I could learn what is really worth my time/energy/etc in life and make those things the focus after all is said and done. I am taking these lessons and I can't wait to run with them - in just 11 short days.

I will say that I am super excited for the show. I am very happy to have continued down this path and achieved something in the process....not allowing the possibility for "what-ifs" and regrets in the future. The end is near and it makes the overwhelming frustration of the process more of a tiny niggling in the back of my mind. I am doing much better, but still look forward to the freedom that will come with making it to the other side of this competition. I have felt more like my normal self recently - like this past weekend where I focused on just having a good time and lots of fun with my daughter for her 1st birthday party. Things are looking up :)

Wordless Wednesday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY PRECIOUS MAKENZIE!!!

Hi everyone. I have a LOT to get off my chest right now....so please bear with me and it will explain my MIA moments from my blog.

My heart is just not in it. Don't worry - I am still doing the show. I have done too much to not get on with the rest of it these last 2.5 weeks. And getting on stage is still something I want to accomplish and am psyched that I am going to finish. I don't want any regrets in my life and I know that if I didn't do this then I would have a regret and always have that "what if" pondering in the back of my mind. But still - I'm not into it. I have my moments where it is thrilling but for the most part, I am so over it you wouldn't believe how frustrating it is. And no it's not just because I am tired, hungry, stressed, etc. It is because I have gotten to where a lot of the time I feel like "What is the point?!?" I can understand goals and how doing shows is a focus that some people enjoy but I have certainly realized during this prep and especially in the last week or so that it is NOT ME. I miss the days of working out for the sake of it making me feel good, strong, happy, and healthy. I long for the days where I could eat healthy, balanced meals of what I want without thinking about measuring/weighing/calculating/fitting etc. I want to go back to the times when there was no guilt accompanied by wanting to enjoy a vacation, date, or my daughter's birthday. I can't wait to do things for ME and the fact that I enjoy it instead of for a date looming over my head like a dark raincloud.

Yes - I do plan to keep working hard. Yes - I do plan to do the show and make the best of it. But yes - I also am counting down the days and am in tears at times wishing it was over so I can go back to my LIFE! This is not how I live my life...I thrive to live with enjoying my family, friends, work in the church, taking care of myself, etc at the center and I don't feel like working to get on stage meshes well with what matters to me. I was talking to Peter last night about how sad I am that I won't be able to fully enjoy Makenzie's first birthday party. He said, "eating cake and icecream doesn't equal enjoying her party so you're fine". I told him its not about the eating. It's about the fact that on the day of her birthday party I will have to be thinking about being sure to get my workout in in the morning, then rushing to get things ready, then no matter how you cut it it will SUCK watching everyone else enjoy some treats while I can't and I resent the feeling of I can't instead of if I chose not to at that time (not I chose not to when deciding to compete so don't throw that BS at me bec I get that)....and its about that the stress of the show coming up, will I be ready, I have to be sure I am taking the time to get my meals prepped and eaten instead of spending time with company, etc etc etc, the neverendingness of it all. And that's just one DAY! I feel like even though I am still doing things with my family, leading my church group, taking care of my motherly/wifely responsibilities the passion and love for those things that used to encompass me is being edged out by the competing. Don't tell me - "oh don't feel that way" or "oh you are worrying too much". I really am not "worrying" too much. I could give two shits these days about it honestly. But I am not a quitter so I keep on. I have already paid the money for the entry fee and tickets for my family to come watch - so doing the show is a done deal. I just want it over and to check it off my list of I did something I've always wondered about and then be able to walk away and never look back.

I haven't been posting much here because when I'm here or on my blog or wherever the show talk feels like the focus of what I need to talk about and such and I am just avoiding it. I do what needs to be done with workouts/meals/etc and then I walk away and prefer to spend my free time busy with things around the house, with Peter, with Makenzie, with a good book, with a tv show, basically anything but fitness talk. I hope this rambling makes sense. And please please please don't respond with some condescending oh it will be ok message. I know it will be - which is why I look forward to it being over. Or telling me it will be worth it - I know it will be bec I set out to accomplish this and I WILL be DAMN proud to have done it...doesn't mean I have to be excited about what it's doing to my life at the moement. Don't tell me its only a little bit left - I know that and when you want it to just be over and done with, time stretches out indefinitely. Don't tell me I am letting it get to me too much - you be in my shoes and feel as though life is passing you by when it doesn't have to and its bec of some decision you made 12 weeks ago and not something that just happened to you and see how easy it is to not let it bother you. Sorry for the rant but I just have to clear it all. Do I know that I know you all love and support me TONS. And I do appreciate it immensely. There are just some things I can't stand hearing or talking about right now and I hope you understand and respect that with me not being around much and being a bit cranky about the whole show thing and what I'm feeling. Love you all!

Mixed Bag of Emotions

The past few days things have been up, down, side to side, backwards, forwards, and everywhere in between. My mind has gone in circles and it has all just been dizzying and a lot to handle. The emotions and mental games of competition prep are something else! It's interesting to feel as though things are harder than ever but easier all at the same time. The workouts, continued deficit food intake (sounds nicer than dieting, huh? haha), the planning. etc are all harder than ever to get through. But then, at the same moment, I can think I am only 19 days away from the finish line so everything seems brighter and more manageable too. Knowing that I only have so many days left of the limited eats and intense cardio makes it bearable to go through the motions. Knowing that in a week I will be getting my hair done, a few days after that having my wax, a few days after that my nails, and then getting glammed up for the show is exciting. Thinking about how FAST less than three weeks will go by is exhilarating.

BUT there is anxiety mixed in there as well. For example, last night was the 2nd time in the past week I have had a very very very realistic and intense dream where it was show day and I was at the venue, expected to go on stage in like 20 minutes.....with NO suit, tanner, makeup, hair, ANYTHING done. I wake up freaked and upset thinking all my effort was wasted. Come on now! And there is the feeling of isn't this all done YET!??? It's overwhelming all the time that goes into it and I just want to be intuitive again with what I eat, when I eat, etc and not having to schedule things around workouts and the more limited time I have these last days. Even though I don't let this competition prep stuff rule my life and am still a mother, wife, friend, etc first....I still miss the freedoms and ease of my life from a few short months ago and another few weeks when thinking about it that way seems like forever away.

So - I guess the point of this post is just to share that its weird. I am excited, pumped, and sooooo ready to have fun with the show and bust out 100% these last few weeks and the other half is just DONE! I know the first of the two sides will be victorious and carry me through these weeks with hopefully minimal disruptions from the exhausted side. But it is there. It is a struggle. It is hard. I guess that's what makes it worth it.......and worth it oh it will be. No doubt about that.

Wordless Wednesday Pictures & Special Email

I forgot to post some pictures of my big girl walking!

And also I got an email from a friend that lists 45 truths a woman of 90 discovered through her life. I think they are very good and something we can all try to apply. Enjoy!

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.

Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

4 1. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Trucking Along

I received an email from the show directors last night with information on things we are expected to do prior to show - such as scheduling our polygraph testing (its a natural show with all competitors tested), taking a picture of myself in my sportswear to send in (they have strict dresscode on this outfit), having music on CD, etc etc. It was surreal to receive that email and know that this will all be here in only a few more short weeks. I am so excited for it! I am doing what I have set out to do. It is amazing to realize that a goal I have had for years will be achieved soon. Until that day comes, though, I will just keep on trucking along and doing my absolute best. I still have some things to figure out with how I want to approach peak week. I do not plan to do sodium/water manipulation that week as I don't think it's necessary after seeing some of my wonderful friends and mentors compete without it and do extraordinarily well. The main thing I will be having to tweak is my macros and deciding what will fill me out the best. I am not too stressed about it though because this prep is all a learning process. The next one will be about growing and developing a better prep with what I get out of this round. And at this moment - I think I do foresee myself doing another competition in spring of next year before hanging up the hooker shoes to work on baby #2. As you can see,  I have had a lot of thoughts going through my mind. I am embracing them, not stressing myself, enjoying the process of the final stretch, and working hard with a smile on my face. Now time to get a move on this day - my sister should be here shortly. We will be watching last night's The Biggest Loser since she missed it (I've already watched and MAN!!! I could throttle Tracy!) and we will also be relaxing, talking, and the like. I will update more later of my training/cardio/etc. Have wonderful days! 

Thanks

I would just like to start off by saying thank you to those of you who left comments, sent emails, and gave me your support. It really helps a lot to know that others understand and can recognize that I am working hard, but not letting it control me. So, thank you. 


Now an update of today....


Woke up, trained shoulders & abs, did some laundry and dishes/cleaning throughout the day, watched Makenzie chase our dog around all day long, food prepped veggies/ground turkey/chicken, went to the gym for afternoon cycle, and now am watching some DVR'd Greys Anatomy and Desperate Housewives. Overall, a successful day.

Training: Shoulders
Cardio: 60 min Spin Class
Extra: Abs, Routine Practice
Diet: On (low day)
meal 1 = coffee/whey shake
meal 2 = oats/raisins/All the Whey pp, egg beaters, strawberries
meal 3 = ground turkey/salsa/Josephs Lavash wrap, salad (spinach, romaine, tomato, cucumber, onion, lite Caesar dressing)
meal 4 = All the Whey pp/almond mik, apple/pb
meal 5 = chicken, broccoli

Have You Ever.....

.....just felt like THIS?!

Well, that is about how I felt a few moments ago. I am back from a wonderful weekend away with Peter and some of our closest friends. We had a fabulous time relaxing, talking, laughing, enjoying each other's company, etc. And over the course of the vacation I decided that I wasn't going to be as extremely strict for competition prep purposes as I had anticipated. It was a vacation. It was not a time to be stressing myself out but instead a time to let loose a bit. So, I did. I didn't do any of the cardio I planned to do or my weight workout when we got home on Sunday. I took a full 3 days of rest besides a couple of easy walks with my husband. I didn't measure out every morsel of food, ate some easier things (like extra fruit and snacks, less chicken & veggies), and even had some cheats with a delicious dinner out and an extra treat with my husband one night.

I did not feel guilty in the least about any of this. Is it the smartest thing for someone 4 weeks out from a figure competition? No, probably not. Is it a good decision for someone who wants to put living her life first above anything else? Yes, most definitely. Which is why I didn't feel guilty. I knew that my #1 goal in this process is to accomplish doing the show and looking the part on that stage. My #1 goal is not to win, or even place. Would it be nice? Of course. But that is still not the point of this show. So, with that in mind, and knowing I want to live my life and enjoy special moments with my friends and husband I took a more laid back approach to this weekend away. I am feeling the effects of it by feeling a lot more bloated and a lot less defined, as well as a decent scale bump but even that didn't get me down. 

So, what sent me to feeling like just screaming at the top of my lungs? The feeling that I would have to JUSTIFY what I felt comfortable doing and what was best for my mindset and where I am at right now. The fact that I truly believe there are people out there who would hear of my weekend and think "Yep. I knew she couldn't handle this. She's not doing it like she should and it's going to show. She is not a true competitor." Why would I feel like that? Because I have attempted doing a show before and had to leave it behind. And when I made it known I was going after that goal again there were quite a few people who seemed shocked that I was attempting this again and not shocked in a "Wow, thats awesome!" way but shocked in a "Huh? Are you sure thats a good idea? I don't know if its right for you" kind of way. I am doing this show to have no regrets and to finish something I started before. And the fact that I'm not doing it by the textbook leaves me feeling defensive in some situations. And THAT is what irks me beyond belief and has me wanting to hit something while screaming at the top of my lungs. I should NOT feel that way. 

I went to post an update on a fitness forum and felt like I had screwed up, like I was going to be judged, and like I was a failure. And for WHAT?! For enjoying my life, while doing things that although may not be perfect are in fact still not going to keep me from achieving what I have set out to do? I should feel no shame. And I don't as I finish typing this post. But I do feel frustration. That there are people out there who I know expect me to fail, expect me to not do this as "perfectly" as they might. But you know what? I have more to my life than this whole competition thing. It is a HOBBY and I'm proud to say it did not interfere with me being who I am and what I stand by. So for all of you doubters - I'm still setting out to do what I intended. I'm still going to get on that stage. I may not be as defined/lean/etc as I could have been if I took the prep diet and all more seriously...but you know what? I'm smiling and loving life too. Nothing can take that from me. Nothing. 

And for the record - I do plan on sticking to things 100% the remainder of prep. And if I do another show, then that prep will be more about improving what I bring to the stage and taking things more seriously. And I do NOT feel guilty about this weekend. Things will still fall into place just fine for what I'm working so hard for. 

Wordless Wednesday

My Hooker Stage Make-Up Trial Run - I love the colors I found....but know that I will probably have to layer them on even more so will keep on practicing. Ha! I'm off now. Won't be back around until sometime Sunday or Monday due to being out of town.